The Path To Adoption In Kenya

At the heart of adoption is a conviction, one that sets your feet in motion. Good intentions are not enough to navigate this road, but with good directions and signage you will make it to your destination safely.

Grace Wanunda of Adoption is Beautiful – Kenya, shared a step-by-step guide to help anyone who wants to adopt in Kenya.

The Adoption Agency

  • Identify an authorized Adoption Agency to work with.
  • Visit the Agency for initial interview. They will ask you why you want to adopt, at this point feel free to ask as many questions as you like about all the aspects of adoption e.g costs, what it entails, procedure, home study, placement, foster and the legal process.
  • You will be required to fill forms, attache relevant documents as requested by Agency and return within the shortest time possible.
  • A social worker will visit your home and file a report if the environment is conducive for the child.
  • You pay the facilitation fee to the Agency.
  • Attend counseling as directed by the Agency.
  • Your documents are presented to the Case Committee.
  • You are approved or deferred, your Agency will advise you in writing.
  • Matching and placement is done by your Agency

The Foster Period

  • The duration of the first 3 months that you  have the baby at home is known as the Foster Period. During this time you visit the Agency twice and give a report on how you are bonding with the baby.  Feel free to raise anything that you would want the social worker to know concerning the baby. The social worker will visit you again to see how the baby is doing at home.  He/she will file a report on the same.
  • If you’ve bonded well with the baby during the 3 months you can start the legal process of Adoption.

The Legal Process (Adoption)

  • You can represent yourself or hire a lawyer if you are not conversant with the legal process.
  • The first appearance is appointment of Guardian Ad Litem – This has to be a parent, they can either be your friend, relative or a social worker.  This person should be very familiar with your journey as she/he is expected to write a report and file with the court on why they feel you should be allowed to adopt the baby.
  • The court will ask the Children’s Department officer in writing to visit you, see how you have bonded with child, write a report and file it in court within a period of time. You are expected to follow them up and make sure that they make the visit within the expected time.
  • The Legal Guardian should be a couple married by law, they are expected to swear before the court that should you die before the child is 18 years, they will stand in for you and take care of the child until the child attains maturity.
  • The Agency that declared the child free for adoption is expected to appear before the court and explain why they declared the child free for adoption and why they think its in the best interest of the child for you to adopt them.
  • The Judge will study all the documents presented and give consent for you to be the legal parent of the child. The parental rights of the biological parents are terminated thereof.
  • The Judge will issue you with a court order and a copy of the judgment.
  • Your lawyer will apply for the adoption certificate, where the child is entered into Adopted Persons Register.
  • You can apply for the birth certificate in your name.

The requirements for adopting a baby:

You must be

  • A Kenya citizen
  • 25 years and above
  • 21 years older than the child you want to adopt
  • Have a home, rented or owner occupier
  • Of sound mind
  • Free from criminal records

Also note that:

  • A single female applicant can only adopt a girl, unless under special circumstances and vice versa.
  • Married couples must be married for three years and above, they can adopt any sex. They need to work as a team.
  • Your medical report – HIV and Urine tests are mandatory (People living with HIV can adopt)
  • Financial proof that you can take care of a child, e.g salary slip/bank statement/business ownership etc

To ease the experience, please avoid,

  • Soliciting a child from anyone other than legal adoption agencies. This includes relatives.
  • Offering money to buy a child.
  • Adopting without a ‘Free-to-adopt’ declaration by a legal or authorized adoption agency.
  • Working with a lawyer who is not well acquainted with the adoption process as this may cause unnecessary delays.

Ensure that you get written parental consent from the parent or relative giving out their child for adoption.

If you feel for any reason that you have not bonded well with the child, please feel free to talk to your agency or social worker.

You are free to do a medical test on the child you are adopting, before you commit to take the child.

When choosing a legal guardian, choose someone you can trust, they are your child’s second parents.

It’s important to note that not everyone who supports you right now is for your child. Write a will and include your child in it prior to your demise, this will reduce the chances of him/her suffering in the hands of relatives.

Every Adoptee has a right to know who they were before adoption, feel free to walk them through the journey, if you don’t tell them, someone will do and they might not tell them in the right way. It can lead to rebellion!

If you would like someone to hold your hand as you walk this journey, please give Grace a call via 254-724-841-245.

 

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Adoption is Beautiful

‘Family doesn’t only happen genetically’, is a quote that needs to be shared widely.

November is Adoption Awareness Month. Some of the stereotypes that surround adoption are, ‘Adoption is for the rich, foreigners and people who have difficulties conceiving. However, the narrative is changing, more and more people are embracing adoption as a beautiful option.

Grace Wanunda shares her life and heart with us; adoption was never really her option, but it became one of the best things that she ever did.

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Grace is the epitome of grace, she is strong yet tender and a well of wisdom. She is a born again Christian, and an introverted, single mother of one adopted beautiful daughter called Angel Faraja. She has never been married and doesn’t have any biological children. Her and Angel are blissful together.

Some of the things that she loves are good worship songs and listening to her favorite preachers Bishop Noel Jones and T.D Jakes. Praying is also at the top of her list of things she enjoys doing.

A person that is in need of help tags at her heart strings. She believes that her humble background and wilderness experiences have made her heart beat so hard whenever a situation, where someone needs her help, presents itself.

What inspired you to Adopt?

“It all started in my dreams,” she says, “I had a dream that I didn’t understand the meaning, after much prayer asking God to reveal the meaning to me, He started speaking to me more clearly.  However, because adoption had never been my option, it took sometime before I got to understand what was in the mind of God for me.  Every time God would bring another dream, and I would not connect it was about adoption, because I was completely against it.  I remember, I kept praying like this ‘O God of all secrets, according to Deuteronomy 29:29 reveal to me the hidden meaning of this dream, whatever it is I will do, I will not fear men, but I will live to fulfill that which you have called me to do’.

I watched a TV program called Faraja by Jamila Mbugua, she interviewed a couple who had adopted two children due to infertility, it’s there that I learnt that a single person can adopt.  There was an adoption officer who explained the process, though I didn’t know of any agencies at the time.

I continued praying and one day I went to the salon and my hair dresser, Josephine, gave me a True love magazine and on the cover was Caroline Mutoko and her adopted daughter Nduku, I literally trembled as I opened up to her that I had been dreaming so much of adopting. I shared with her my ‘good’ reasons of why I can’t adopt, but Josephine took the opportunity to encourage me on how adoption is a blessing. She said that I should pray over it and reconsider. As we spoke she promised to connect me with one of her clients called Hellen, who happened to have adopted, and worked for Little Angels Network Adoption society.  As we were speaking, Hellen walked into the salon, that was not just a coincidence, it was a confirmation that God really wanted me to adopt.  I took her number and promised to call her to know more about adoption.

Then came the roller coaster of emotions

“I rushed out of the salon and went straight to my car and broke down. I was mad at God! However, I recollected myself, went to my house and I prayed, “God, this is my last test, if you are calling me to adopt, I am going to call my mother now! I will tell her about adoption and whatever she say, that I will do, so speak through my mother.”  I called my mother, and spoke to her about adoption and explained all the negative things that people say about adoption. When I was done, she asked me “What have you been waiting for?” She continued, “No one takes care of another person’s child, unless God is involved.  If you thought about it know that God has called you into it.  Go ahead and do it.  Let no one stop you.” She continued “Who adopted Moses? She was the daughter of Pharaoh, she was unmarried, let no one stop you.  God doesn’t look at your marital status he looks at your heart.  You have my blessings, go ahead and adopt.”

I was overwhelmed with emotion. Adoption was not my option, I expected my mother to say “NO” so that I could tell God, ‘You see, she refused and I have to obey her,’ then I remembered I had asked God to speak through my mother, therefore, I knew that it was God speaking through my mother.”

Two months later ,in denial, I decided to visit Hellen and she shared her journey and fulfillment. She took me through the process and later gave me the number for Little Angels Network Mombasa Social Worker called Anne.  I called Anne and visited her in office. There I took the forms and started the adoption process.”

What was the process like?

“From application, my approval took about two months, however, the placement took about 6 months.  A single applicant can only adopt a baby of the same sex, therefore, I could only adopt a baby girl.  Statistics show that many single ladies are adopting, meaning they only adopt girls, on the other hand, most couples prefer girls to boys, making the demand for baby girls shoot up and that leads to a longer waiting period for placement.

After placement, I took my daughter home for a foster period of 3 months.  When the time lapsed I hired a lawyer who filed the case with the High Court of Mombasa. She charged  Kshs. 40,000/=  as the legal fees. The legal process took another 8 months to be granted the parental rights. In case a parent doesn’t have the legal fees, they can represent themselves in court.”

What was the biggest challenge that you faced?

“My biggest challenge was the anxiety as I wait for placement. I was so depressed because of the fear of unknown! I thought it would be easy as pap but the 6 months really weighed me down.  Nevertheless, my daughter was worth the wait!”

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How did life change when Angel came home?

“My life changed for better! My priorities changed, Angel was at the top of my priority list. My investments changed they became more baby-oriented, I took an Education and Health policy immediately. I started going home immediately after work, I would go home for lunch and there are times that I sneaked from office to check on her.

My MD gave me one month and I thank God for him, for all the support that I received. My journey has been one of the best! The most successful and fulfilling thing I have ever done in my entire life is Adopting. My precious Angel is a miracle baby, she has been in good health all through. Now,  at 3 years, I only attended clinics.  Her growth has been from glory to glory, she feeds very well and sleeps throughout the night. She is full of energy, loved and favored by God and men.”

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Grace is the Chairperson of the Adoptive Parents Support Network that offers support and advice to adoptive parents. They have a Whatsapp support thread that is a safe space for parents to share their challenges and celebrate their victories. Their intention is to reach as many parents as possible, to walk together and to enjoy the journey.

There are 84 parents in the group to date. Anyone who has done adoption the legal way or who has been approved for adoption, is welcome to join them.

To help create awareness on matters adoption,  Grace founded a Facebook group Adoption is beautiful – Kenya where she shares regularly.

 

Gems of wisdom that you’d like to share with someone thinking about adopting?

“Adoption is divine, it is godly, it’s a blessing, it is doable, it’s not only for the rich nor the barren, but for all of us.  There are so many children in the homes who need us.  The Government of Kenya banned inter-country adoptions, meaning, no foreigner is allowed to adopt a Kenyan child, for a long time there was a perception that adoption is for foreigners and the rich.  Now that they are not allowed to adopt our children, would you consider adoption? No child deserves to live in a home. By adopting a child you will give that child an opportunity to be raised in a family set up, which is far better than most homes.”

Jesus said  Matthew 18:5-7 5And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”

Grace’s story has been such an encouragement to me. Adoption is beautiful.

If you would like to contact her, please reach her on +254-724-841-245.

Blessings,

 

 

Yellow Flower Network

Invisible illness can be lonely, confusing and consuming. There are many times you doubt yourself and the manifestation of the pain. Leaving your bed on somedays can feel like doing calculus, it has to be a calculated move. Some days the method makes sense and on other days, you don’t even know where to start.

The idea to start the Yellow Flower Network was birthed a few weeks ago when I realized that I want to support women in Kenya and give them the personal touch, but I am not physically able to.

My inbox is a buzz with women looking for support, women who have just had surgery, women who would like to meet other women to let them know that they are not going crazy, and that the pain is not all in their heads.

Yellow Flower Network

My desire is that no woman will walk alone, that every Endo-warrior will know that they are not alone. That the thing that tried to break her, will reveal a reservoir of strength and it will enable her to be encourage others.

If you are interested in supporting other Endo warriors in Kenya by texting, calling or visiting them when they are in need (in hospital, post surgery), please send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

To start us off, one of our Endo sisters, Jahmby, needs our help. Let us support her in any way that we can.

Jahmby Koikai

*endometriosis

 

The Kenyan Endo Story: Reshma Maru

It’s difficult to tell the battle a woman is fighting by looking at her. Endo is an invisible force, it is tiny and mighty. It attacks from the inside out, Endo pain is something that all girls would love to live without.

There is a resilience, a fire in her eyes, a desire to win that Reshma has that lets you know that she is determined to beat Endo.

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Reshma Maru is a 27-year-old who works in procurement for a furniture store. She graciously shared her story with us.

What makes me smile is a face of a child-the innocence they show and so pure at heart. If there is something I can smile about, it is fantasizing about how I can hold my own child and just hold them close to me.

 

I started my periods at the tender age of 11. I would hear girls in schools saying that it is like a disease where if one touched a girl who had her periods it would spread, so I kept it hush from friends and even my mother. Being the only girl brought up in an Indian family I didn’t have someone to confide in, the day that my mother found the bed sheets stained she was furious that I did not tell her I had started my periods. In the Indian culture it is important to tell your mother so that she can explain to you that when you are on your periods you do not go to the temple or touch someone who is going. So many myths came together with this.

 

I went through years of painful periods that would last 7-8 days. Panadol was my best friend and without it I would not last any of the days, I just knew that ahhh its periods they are always supposed to be painful, so it is normal.

 

The pain got worse when I was 24 years old. I would have the normal painful period but the pain would continue even after the periods were over. So two weeks down the line I was like ‘This cannot be period pain, it must be something I have eaten.’ I went to a general doctor and explained all my symptoms to him, and he said that it sounds like amoeba. He took a stool sample and said that he found traces of amoeba and that was a sigh of relief as I knew there are medicines to get rid of them. I was on medication and a few days after ovulation I was pain free.

 

The next month came and I got painful periods and the same pain after the periods. This time I ignored it and took antibiotics for two weeks and voila I was back to normal. I just thought to myself that since the previous periods were painful I may have a less painful one next month. Come next month the pain was worse. I would get hot flashes, nausea, lack of appetite, and pain all over my abdomen especially my left side.

 

Since I had a medical cover at work I decided to go see a gyno and just get things checked out as it may be a small issue and besides since I wasn’t for it why not. I got advise from fellow workmates on which gyno to go see since they were using the same. The gyno advised I do a blood test and a scan so that she could have a clear view of what was causing the pain. When she saw the scan report she looked at me and said you have been diagnosed with Endometriosis. At first I was like ‘Huh? that is a long name to even pronounce let alone spell.’

 

I took the prescribed medication and decided to google the sickness she had talked about. After the research, I concluded that it was a common disease so may be the Vissane that she had prescribed would cure it as the box read specially for Endometriosis. I took it for 6 months as I went for regular checks with the gyno and I was really really happy. Vissane suppresses your periods, so no periods = no pain for me.

 

I was three months away from my wedding and pleaded to the gyno for me to continue the medication until my wedding and honey moon were over. She agreed and said that I should get a baby and all these problems should disappear. I was happy that I was pain free, able to work, plan my wedding, run around here and there.

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I actually ditched the contraceptives when I started gaining weight and getting very emotional almost every day. I started going to the gym to lose weight but after 3 sessions max and I could hardly keep up. I was always tired, my feet always hurt, my shoulders felt like someone was sitting on them, I would cry for no reason over the tinniest things. My husband would be like, ‘What is the matter be strong,’ and I would just look at him and just cry and cry.

 

This time time when my periods came, the pain killers did not work at all. I could feel the pain like I was being stabbed on my left side but nothing was working. I even went to work in all that pain just waiting for the painkiller to kick in and may be get distracted from the pain while working but nothing worked. I rushed to my gyno and pleaded she does something about the pain. She injected me with stronger painkillers but nothing changed. All helpless I now asked her, “Please just tell me anything else we can do because I don’t think I will last a day like this.” If I saw a knife that day I would have stabbed myself just to remove whatever it was causing the pain as I knew exactly where it was.

 

She advised that I be admitted right away for a Laparoscopic surgery. Without knowing the details I was ready to go through it just to pass through this hell. In the evening as I was prepping myself for surgery, I started thinking ‘What is this I have agreed to do?’ but I prayed all will be well and went for it. A surgery that was to take 2 hours ended up taking 4 hours. I came out of surgery with a numb tummy and no pain I was like ‘Wow! I like this feeling.’

 

The pain started after I was out of hospital, I was constipated, healing from the surgery itself, dealing with a dry throat caused by the tube they insert down your throat during the surgery, extremely emotional and hating on those who didn’t come see me in hospital including a Best friend who I decided to let go of. I went back to the gyno for my report and to ask why the surgery took so long and she explained that I had a normal cyst and inside that there was now an endo cyst growing both being 5.5cm. These were on the left ovary therefore causing the excoriating pain. They were removed but since they were on my ovary the top tissues were removed as well so healing would take some time.

 

Post-surgery, I am still struggling to join this diet plan that endo patients are asked to follow but my work mates give me support and also join me in eating right. I do not want to lose a job or give up on life because of this. Believe me it is so hard, I lived for food and now I get told do not eat this or that. You think like where do I start looking for organic food and even when you do find some you are too weak to cook it for yourself.

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But believe me nothing is worth your health. The bills that you get with medication and surgery are more expensive than just eating right and taking care of yourself. I am now hearing of foods or herbal meds and I’m willing to give them a try.

 

This has really changed me in many ways – I am closer to God more than ever, thinking of him everyday – I am more positive and really willing to help someone else through this because NOTHING is possible without the support. When you are left alone your get negative thoughts play in. Even just listening to someone vent is good enough for me because we all at one point want to do that.

 

I always want to help and be there for anyone going through this as no one understands your pain like a fellow endo-sister. I believe this will be a thing of the past but this can only happen if we create awareness and research on what works or doesn’t work for each other.

 

What I always keep in mind that God gives the toughest battles to those he loves the most. Let’s not give up and always be there for someone whenever you can because time is short, let’s not run out of it!

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courtesy yesofcorza.com

My favorite flower is a black rose as it is unique and rare to find just like you!!

You can connect with Reshma on:

Facebook – www.facebook.com/reshma.maru

Instagram –https://www.instagram.com/drop.dead_diva/

Are you an Endowarrior living in Kenya?

Would you be interested in joining a community of women who support each other in this journey?

Do you suspect that you could have Endometriosis and are wondering where to start?

If you answered yes, please leave me a comment or send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

Despite the adversity and circumstances that surround us, we will still bloom and dazzle the world with our presence and beauty.

We are flowers; delicate, resilient and strong.

Yellow Flower Mail

The cold floor and I were once good friends, not by chance but as a result of circumstances. When Auntie Flo’ checked in, the pain would overwhelm me and the cold floor was my happy place. The pain felt like a furnace was in my belly, the painkillers seemed like drops of water trying to put out a raging fire.

My eyes were always moist, dust particles had an eviction notice every other day. Crying sessions were part of my routine, the pain made me feel like God, the world and my body were against me, no one wanted me to prosper. As I balanced on my sides I wasn’t seeking prosperity, it was survival I was after. I just wanted to survive, to be well, to be pain-free.

Eight years later, my story has changed, I’ve come a long way and the pain has subsided, I have energy and I have a testimony.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (AMP)

Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

I want to share the comfort that I have received with other ladies fighting Endo in Kenya through handwritten letters of hope.

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If you are an Endowarrior living in Kenya and you would like to receive Yellow Flower Mail please fill in the form below and I’ll get writing.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/M6G3NQ2

If you would like to support women living with Endometriosis please send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

Prepping for Auntie Flo’

After many miserable months of barely surviving during my periods, I realized that I could make my experience better by preparing my body in advance. The little changes have had such a huge impact, incorporating certain foods into my diet a week before Ms. Flo’ checks in has proved to be beneficial and made certain symptoms one less thing to worry about.

Constipation, cramps, clots, bloating and migraines made me dread my periods, my only saving grace was that I had a long cycle which meant 11 periods a year, I was counting all the blessings I could think of.

The game changer for me was the migraines. I had found a way to live with the other symptoms but the migraine was the one that made having to stay home from work worse, I couldn’t read, think or sleep.

Here are a few of the things that I have since incorporated that are giving me some much-needed relief.

I’d love to know what is working for you, I am open to trying out new things, so please leave me a comment below.

Under Wraps

There were certain things that could not be discussed at the table. Menstruation was one of them. It was discussed in the shadows, amidst whispers. Truth seldom lurked in those shadows. That’s how I was convinced that painful periods were normal.

I suffered in silence. When I tried to speak up, I was told that it was normal. When the pain got excruciating, I was told that it was all in my head. It seemed my head had a circulatory system, an SGR that helped it move from the North of my body to the Equator, my waist.

The first time I set out to buy pads as a young girl, I walked praying that I would find the shopkeeper’s wife. It would be easier to ask her for Always. When I found the shopkeeper himself, I thought about going back home and coming back later, but I needed the pads urgently. I mustered all the courage I had within and asked for pads.

“Habari yako? Tafadhali nipe Always.” I said as I looked at the stock behind him.

“Mzuri. Oh! Unataka Always?” he asked with half a smile on his face as he connected the dots, I was finally menstruating, no longer a little girl.

“Ndio.” I answered as I looked at the ground. It was already an awkward conversation, we didn’t need eye contact to make it worse. He hurriedly picked a packet of Always with wings, wrapped it in a newspaper and then put in a black paper bag. I was embarrassed. This action spoke volumes to me, it said: periods were to be kept under wraps.

A painful diagnosis with Endometriosis got me talking about periods on any platform I could find. The pain of surgery and hormonal treatment eradicated the illusion of shame. I shared a bit of my story on my Vlog.

We need to talk about periods at the table, even from the mountaintops if we can. There are too many women suffering in silence, too many girls languishing alone, hating menstruation, yet it can be a beautiful thing.

As our girls are home from school, I encourage us to talk openly and freely about periods. Ask them about their periods the last couple of months and take steps to help them.

Let’s talk about periods over a cuppa.

Dream Again

I’m having a little party today. Celebrating a new beginning.

I found out I had Endometriosis when I was ready to change the world. It interrupted my life, plans and dreams. I was young, naive and somewhat full of energy. The endless opportunities in my horizon excited me, that was until Endo got the best of me. I went from being energetic to psyching up to do simple and mundane tasks such as showering. Leaving the house was difficult, while keeping my dreams alive seemed like folly.

My periods had taken over my whole life. Pain was my companion and medication had become my cuppa. My previously blemish-less tummy, now held scars that were the only proof that my pain was real. That it was not a figment of my imagination. They vindicated me, though they remained hidden.  The color had been erased from my world. My rainbow had become a Zebra.

Even after I got better, it took a while to reclaim my mind. To change my mindset, to embrace the new season. I was scared to be okay, because I thought that a flare up was lurking in the shadows. When I had a series of good days, I almost felt guilty. One day, it dawned on me that I had given myself to Endometriosis. Yes, I had Endometriosis, but it too had me. I was stuck and suffocating. Life without Endo seemed foreign, like it was too good to be true. Like a privilege that I wasn’t supposed to enjoy. Fear held me captive, the possibility of having a normal life and then relapsing to the dark valley where I could barely do anything scared me.

I managed my life, expectations and dreams. Endo had taught me to cope, never to thrive. Somewhere in the midst of it I forgot how to shine, so I settled for mediocre. This mindset reduced my dreams to naught.

A  few months ago, I had an idea to start a Vlog, I had the episodes all lined up in my head, but the voice deep within, screamed that I couldn’t do it. So I buried the idea, but it kept resurrecting, no tomb of darkness could contain it. It became clear, that part of my life’s mission was to create content.

After weeks of toying with the idea, burying it, fighting it while embracing it, I decided to start it. What a relief it is, to finally just start. The hurdles seem bigger when you are stationary, when the ball starts rolling you see that your dreams can become a reality.

Karibu Yellow Endo Flower . To start us off, I talk about my journey with acne and why I stopped drinking coffee.

Link to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCQOngXT4WM&feature=youtu.be

Meltdown

Walking with an irritable, overstimulated and exhausted toddler is like carrying a ticking time bomb. It is only a matter of time until it goes BOOM, and you are left dealing with the shrapnel. So you hope and pray that the bomb goes off in the comfort of your home. This tense situation is the reason I stopped going shopping with my little girl at lunch time. It was just a recipe for disaster. Sleep is like the ocean, sometimes it comes subtly, other times, it rages and turns calm water into volatile waters. One minute she is calm, and the next she is on the floor wailing, all because she wants to sleep.

After 1pm, you will rarely find me tagging along Miss K. If we didn’t go together in the morning, I go by myself. And shop in peace, while she takes her afternoon nap in peace. This arrangement works for everyone.

Going shopping when hungry is a horrible idea. Everything calls out your name, and your otherwise disciplined body wants everything that it lays its eyes on. You go from craving chapati, to ice cold soda, to chocolate, to ice cream. to chevda,  to chips. And you ask your body, ‘Who are you? How can you possibly desire all these things at once?’ The thing is, hunger just wants to be sated. It makes you desperate. You become like an indecisive little child who doesn’t want to share. Your body screams ‘Mine!’ every time you pass an item that it likes. It has a meltdown.

If you give in to the all the cravings, they taste good while you are eating them but a few minutes later, you belch and bile rises to the top of your oesophagus. You are instantly disgusted by your actions. Regret fills your belly.

To avoid the meltdowns and body tantrums, I have identified my triggers. Hunger is one of them. So I try to go shopping when I am full. I have my oat smoothie or sweet potatoes before I leave the house to avoid eating a mandazi later. When I am hungry, mandazis look like manna and Quail looked to the Israelites in the desert. Heavenly.

There’s an exhaustion that sleep cannot solve. This fatigue doesn’t befall you overnight like a thief in the night, it fills up slowly like the waning drops of rationed water in a bucket. It takes being aware of your emotions and fatigue levels every day or week to notice the exhaustion, before you find yourself in a meltdown.

Understanding when you are most vulnerable helps you to be proactive, this minimizes your chances of having a meltdown.