The Diary Of A Kenyan Endo Warrior: The Game-Changer: The Day I Couldn’t Walk Anymore

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Dear Diary,

By the time I was 17 years old, I was pretty much used to painful and dramatic periods. I had somewhat accepted it as my lot. What else could I do? In those days I seldom heard of anyone going to hospital for painful periods. We resulted to be being amateur pharmacists. In retrospect that was SHEER. FOLLY!

All was well-ish until the day pain paralyzed me in the heart of Nairobi city while on Moi Avenue near a stall selling jewelry. That was scary. My body was overcome by such a sharp pain on the left side of my abdomen. I couldn’t walk and could hardly breathe. I felt hot, a warmth covered my body. I was scared yet I had to put on my brave face on, because the city center is not a place to show your fear when you can’t move.

I inched towards the jewelry stall and sat. God bless the woman who helped me with a seat. She tried to ask me what was going on but I was as clueless as she was. My abdomen was hot and I was balancing tears. Minutes felt like hours as I waited for the wave to pass. When it finally did, I got a matatu and went to school. By this time I was already late for my class. I walked as fast as I could to the school clinic and met the ever patient Dr. Jack. He believed me, he didn’t look at me like I was crazy.

He gave me a place to rest and then treated me for a bad Urinary Tract Infection. After a course of antibiotics, painkillers and urine alkalizer, the pain subsided; only for a few days.

Till next time,

Blessings,

Ess

The Diary of A Kenyan Endo Warrior: I. Am. Tired!

 

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Dear Diary,

I doubt that it’s normal to wake up tired, spend the whole day tired and sleep tired. For so many years this was my normal. My first response to the question ‘how are you?’ was Tired. But there’s only so many times that you can answer tired, until the other person gets, well, tired, of hearing your response. That was the story of my life.

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What I was more tired of, was being sick and in pain. Being sick is a draining process. It literally sucks out the life out of you, and the desire to live. When you have been in pain day after day, you want to cry. I vividly remember crying to God, praying that He would take the pain away. I was fed up of watching my life slip between my fingers. How badly I wanted to live life fully, but my body wouldn’t let me.

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It was more than just physical exhaustion; more like an all round exhaustion. When I found The Spoon Theory  by Christine Miserandino I was besides myself. Finally, someone had put into words what I had been struggling to say for a long time. Her description of Spoonies perfectly described me. “Spoonies are people that live with chronic illness; theoretically measuring personal daily abilities much as one would measure the proper amount of spoons needed for an event or occasion… sometimes having an abundance, other times coming up short.”

I was tired but I realized that I needed more grace,strength and spoons.

To the Spoonie struggling to express her exhaustion, you are not alone.

Blessings,

Ess

5 Things To Do Before You Start An Endo Diet

A few years after I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, I found the Endo diet. It was nice to look at, but it was so much work. it meant giving up all that I knew, and so I started it for a short while, then I quickly fell off the bandwagon because I had not taken certain things into consideration.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve seen many women asking about the diet, and I thought I’d share some tips that I’ve learned over the years.

First off, IT WORKS! For the Endo warrior wondering if changing your diet makes a difference, well, it does, It may not reduce the pain completely but it makes you feel so much better.

5 things to do before starting an Endo Diet

 

Before you start the diet, I’d encourage you to:

1) Read about the diet

Do your research about the diet and internalize why you need to reduce the intake of certain foods. Understand the hormonal balance that you are trying to attain using food. When you begin to view food as medicine, it changes your thought process when you are serving food on your plate.

2) Know what you are dealing with

Endometriosis cannot be treated in isolation. Look back at your medical history and identify any food allergies and take them into consideration. What is good for one woman may not be great for you. If you have Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Ulcers, be sure to avoid any trigger foods that may seem healthy.

3) Make a plan

What they should tell you is that eating clean is not easy, Nah! It isn’t. It takes hard work, planning and self control. The food you are supposed to avoid is so easily accessible. Wheat products, taste and smell so good. They are affordable too, well in the short run.

If you want to be successful, you need to plan your meals in advance. Anticipate hunger. Find restaurants that serve foods that you can eat and enjoy. Look for locally accessible food substitutes. The ingredients that you read about online, may be costly. Remember that food is medicine.

Make your food exciting, eating clean doesn’t have to mean eating boring food.

4) Keep a food and feeling diary

The first couple of days, it is easy to get discouraged especially because you feel horrible being off wheat, dairy, soy and caffeine ( they are the popular ones).

Keep a food diary that allows you to write what you eat and how feel physically and emotionally each day. Remember that you may see results immediately, but you shouldn’t write it off until you’ve tried it for 2 months.

5) Love on yourself

Enjoy the journey. Invest in yourself, speak kind words to yourself. The battle is won in the mind, so you can’t expect to succeed in the eating department if you constantly belittle and doubt yourself. Love yourself for who you are and where you are at. View the diet change as something you are doing for yourself, not necessarily because the doctor or friend suggested it.

Some days we fall off, but we have to get back up. If food has been a crutch, try and find a new activity to do.

All in all, I wish you the very best. If you have any questions, please feel free to send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com

Blessings,

Ess

5 Things To Do Before You Start An Endo Diet

A few years after I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, I found the Endo diet. It was nice to look at, but it was so much work. it meant giving up all that I knew, and so I started it for a short while, then I quickly fell off the bandwagon because I had not taken certain things into consideration.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve seen many women asking about the diet, and I thought I’d share some tips that I’ve learned over the years.

First off, IT WORKS! For the Endo warrior wondering if changing your diet makes a difference, well, it does, It may not reduce the pain completely but it makes you feel so much better.

5 things to do before starting an Endo Diet

Before you start the diet, I’d encourage you to:

1) Read about the diet

Do your research about the diet and internalize why you need to reduce the intake of certain foods. Understand the hormonal balance that you are trying to attain using food. When you begin to view food as medicine, it changes your thought process when you are serving food on your plate.

2) Know what you are dealing with

Endometriosis cannot be treated in isolation. Look back at your medical history and identify any food allergies and take them into consideration. What is good for one woman may not be great for you. If you have Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Ulcers, be sure to avoid any trigger foods that may seem healthy.

3) Make a plan

What they should tell you is that eating clean is not easy, Nah! It isn’t. It takes hard work, planning and self control. The food you are supposed to avoid is so easily accessible. Wheat products, taste and smell so good. They are affordable too, well in the short run.

If you want to be successful, you need to plan your meals in advance. Anticipate hunger. Find restaurants that serve foods that you can eat and enjoy. Look for locally accessible food substitutes. The ingredients that you read about online, may be costly. Remember that food is medicine.

Make your food exciting, eating clean doesn’t have to mean eating boring food.

4) Keep a food and feeling diary

The first couple of days, it is easy to get discouraged especially because you feel horrible being off wheat, dairy, soy and caffeine ( they are the popular ones).

Keep a food diary that allows you to write what you eat and how feel physically and emotionally each day. Remember that you may see results immediately, but you shouldn’t write it off until you’ve tried it for 2 months.

5) Love on yourself

Enjoy the journey. Invest in yourself, speak kind words to yourself. The battle is won in the mind, so you can’t expect to succeed in the eating department if you constantly belittle and doubt yourself. Love yourself for who you are and where you are at. View the diet change as something you are doing for yourself, not necessarily because the doctor or friend suggested it.

Some days we fall off, but we have to get back up. If food has been a crutch, try and find a new activity to do.

All in all, I wish you the very best. If you have any questions, please feel free to send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com

Blessings,

Ess

5 Ways You Can Support An EndoWarrior

Endometriosis affects 1 in 10 women. This means, if you know 10 women, you know Endometriosis.

#BREASTCANCERAWARENESSSseptember 1, 2020

The fact that it’s an invisible disease makes it difficult for women to get diagnosis and for people to relate with her and the pain. Because of the nature of the disease, and the societal norms, women find it hard to speak about Endo and even reach out for help.

It is more than just a woman’s disease, it affects the society as a whole. Women, daughters and sisters are affected. Fathers, husbands and brothers too.

5 Ways Tolove on an ENDOWARRIOR

Here are a few ways that you can support a woman who has Endometriosis:

  1. Believe Her

When she says that she is in pain, believe her. When she struggles to get out of bed, believe her. When she is too inflamed and bloated to fit in her normal clothes, and takes very long to get ready, believe her. When she says sex hurts too much, believe her. When she says she’d love to meet up but she just can’t, believe her. When she says she is on the verge of giving up hope, believe her.

Believe her. Believe her. Believe her.

The best form of love and understanding stems from a place of believing without a shadow of doubt that she is in pain and not pretending.

This understanding will help you be sensitive when you ask her questions and comment on her daily struggle.

2. Listen to Her

Hear her out, don’t dismiss her pain. Listen to her dreams, her fears, her jokes and her heart. Listen to her words and also to her actions; gently encourage her when she sinks into the valley of sadness.

3. Do Your Research

Take a personal interest in the condition and seek to be knowledgeable. There is a lot of valuable information on the internet. Read up about Endo, go onto forums and ask questions. Read the leaflets that come with the medicine that she is on. Research on

4. Be Present

Let her know that you are in this together. Go for the consultations together. Take an interest in her daily routine, encourage her to do things that help her. If she goes on the Endo diet, help her plan her meals. Join her in some of the meals.

5. Love her as she is

Don’t try to change her to be the woman you remember her being or the woman of your dreams. Love her as she is. Accept the challenges that she faces and help her work around them. Speak words of life and love.

Your support means a lot.

Blessings,

Ess

The Diary of A Kenyan Endo Warrior- The Warning Sign We Missed

Dear Diary,

Where there is smoke, there is a fire.

As a little girl, I had trouble with my bowel movements. I hated going to the toilet. When I felt the urge, I’d have balancing tears because I knew the pain and sheer discomfort that awaited me. My diet was fairly okay, and I tried to drink water and eat my pawpaw, but my poop wouldn’t move (pun intended). I was the preteen girl with chronic constipation, I was always tired and cranky. I envied anyone who could poop with pain and problems.

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When I hit puberty, things got worse. It was more like, out of the frying pan and into the fire. IT WAS HORRIBLE. Pooping during my periods was extremely uncomfortable. My tummy was very bloated and I felt a piercing pain as the poop moved through my intestines. Sometimes, I couldn’t walk, I would sweat, in pain, until it passed. Bowel movements became a serious prayer item. Around the same time, I experienced such discomfort when trying to pee. I’d go and sit on the loo but it just wouldn’t come out. I even thought I was stressed. I remember one time we went to climb Mount Kenya and I just couldn’t pee, other girls kept asking what’s taking so long, but it just couldn’t come out yet it hurt so much. After about 20 minutes of squat-waiting, I finally peed. My period came the following day, but I had no idea, then, that there was a connection between the pain and my menstrual cycle.

Little did I know, Endometriosis was nesting in my abdomen.

Love always,

Ess

 

The Diary Of A Kenyan Endo Warrior – My Struggle With Tampons

Dear Diary,

I’m still super excited about the pad dispensers, because I still can’t use tampons. Rather, I still choose not to use tampons. My struggle with tampons begun as a preteen. My mum told me that they were not for young girls, and told me that they could make me sick. Toxic Shock Syndrome was described and I got scared. I envied the girls in school who swore by them. They did not have the pad problems, you know, having to change all the time, no odour ( remember the time Always had THAT scent?). They could swim!! Oh, THEY COULD SWIM! I on the other hand, used to sit on the sidelines watching, enviously.

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Deep within I knew that once I was an older, out of the nest, I would use tampons. When I got an opportunity to try, it went awfully wrong. I could feel it deep within. It was so uncomfortable. The next time my period rocked up when I was least prepared and a tampon was what was available. That has to be the longest night of my life. That was discomfort 101. As if the discomfort was not enough, the flow seeped through. That day, I decided that tampons were not for me.

My biggest question has always been, where do the clots go? Where?? The flow is usually 80% clots, so the tampon definitely is not the most practical tool. Let’s not forget, how inflamed, tender and uncomfortable the pelvic cavity feels at that time. A tampon seems like a tool of the enemy at that time.

A few years ago, I detoxed and felt a newness and relief I had not felt in a long time. As I weaned off different chemicals, I saw a relationship between what I put into my body and how I feel. My reservation with tampons is that I don’t know exactly what I am putting in. My research has shown me, that I need to care about such things. It may seem silly to some, but pain free days are indeed, slices of heaven. They are not to be trivialized. One of the articles I read reinforced my resolve to watch what I put in.

I meet girls who love pads and others who love tampons, periods are personal, and every one has their experience. My advice to both is, do your research well and then choose what is most comfortable for you.

Love always,

Ess

 

The Pad Dispensers Are Here

When people talk about their period cycles, I thank God that I now have a cycle. Meaning, it is now somewhat predictable. Previously, it was more like a period doodle, yup, something out of a toddler’s workbook. I  was somewhere in between a 21 day and 37 day cycle doodle. So I seldom knew when my period was coming. I was caught unawares more than once, hah, Auntie Flo had a way of checking in when I’d just left the house. Perfect timing. Not. When Auntie Flo comes when you are not prepared, you become innovative, as you wait to find a pad. It’s most irritating when it’s easier to find a condom, than a pad in the ladies bathroom.

PAD DISPENSERS ARE HERE

You can imagine my sheer joy when I heard about Inteco Kenya and their pad dispensers. It was music to my ears.

Meet Ms. Munira Twahir, the beauty and brains behind Inteco Kenya.

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Her Story
I was 9 when I started periods and I was told not to touch boys. That was the end of my orientation into womanhood. The last 14 years has been on my own research and exploration which without guidance can be very risky territory to navigate.
Periods need to be demystified. It needs to be talked about so that girls do not feel as though it is a hindrance or a burden. The fact is womanhood should be celebrated. I have noticed there is a clash in wanting to speak about it and cultural norms. What can you or should you tell a 9 year old about sex and reproduction? Yet, they have started their periods and they are at risk of so many things because of this. I read a recent study that some girls have no association with having periods and pregnancy. This is an extreme case but, many girls transition into womanhood alone.
Inteco Kenya
Inteco Kenya aims to alleviate menstruation  related stress and anxiety by providing women a comfortable, accessible and flexible purchase of single sanitary pads. But, we are much more than that. We want to work with partners, individuals, corporations and institutions that share our passion, to celebrate women. Menstruation should not be a burden or a curse. It should not be a hindrance in the girl child education. It should not be a reason to go into seclusion every month.
We have a Sexual reproductive health programme. It’s aim is to give girls information about their body without judgement. Our curriculum covers reproduction, Menstruation, Sex, Risks, Contraception and boys. In each of these topics we have a technical teaching and the emotional side.
We usually have a conversation with the girls in the school to assess their level of knowledge and curiosity. Some schools we have been to are very conversant with menstruation health management but not with STD/STIs and vice versa. This is done as a casual conversation between the facilitator and the girls. The ratio of facilitator to girls is 1:40
Next we come back and get the numerical data of the conversations we had. This is for our statistics and research. It will form our base line.
We then use the two research methods to write a report on the particular school which we will share with the administration. This report will guide us on how to structure our classes and sessions.
The machine is part of the programme. We sell the pads at 10 shillings. The pads are not our own we are more than happy to partner with companies that are in line with our cause to supply their pads to our demographics. In a school, we only need the space in the lavatories.

You can get in touch with her here.

Blessings,

Ess

One In Ten Women

 

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Women are strong, resilient, gentle, powerful, and beautiful. They are powerhouses. Women deserve to be celebrated and appreciated. They don’t hear how great they are everyday, but they are the stars of our society.

One in ten women suffer from Endometriosis, yet we don’t talk about it. 176 million women are estimated to suffer from Endometriosis. If all of those women were to form a country, it would be the seventh largest country in the world.~@Endowarriors, #Endofacts

The most common symptoms of Endometriosis are:

  • Pain, especially excessive menstrual cramps which may be found in abdomen or lower back
  • Pain during intercourse
  • Abnormal or heavy menstrual flow
  • Infertility
  • fatigue
  • Painful urination during menstrual periods
  • Painful bowel movements during menstrual period
  • Other gastrointestinal problems such as diarrhea, constipation, bloating, and/or nausea

(information courtesy of reguardingwomen.)

Endometriosis is more than just a painful period. It is a pain that disrupts your entire life. Some women describe it as being stabbed from the inside. Pain is not normal. It needs to be discussed openly and early diagnosis needs to promoted.

endo-stop the pain

Let’s talk about Endometriosis, and encourage women to seek medical advice.

Happy  women’s day!

 

Blessings,

Ess

The Diary Of A Kenyan Endo Warrior: When It Rains, It Pours and Sometimes Overflows

Dear Diary,

My periods, while in high school, started off innocently, like the morning dew, I was relieved to finally be a woman. And then someone opened the tap and they poured and overflowed.

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The number of times that I soiled my clothes and sheets are too many to count. It was the usual, so I hated having to sleep out or stay out late on those days. I remember when we set out to climb Mount Kenya, I prayed to God to save me the agony of having my period on the Mountain. Back then I didn’t know about the pill to postpone my period. So I used another method, I avoided all the girls who were currently on their periods. I didn’t want anyone inspiring my periods to come while on the mountain. Poor girls, had to endure periods without showering. But, I think at that altitude your body is a little kinder to you. Well, I hope it is.

Once we got down from the Mountain, and into the hotel, my periods came. My pink trousers, that I loved, were now a hot mess, a bloody mess. The pain I felt was out of this world. I couldn’t stay to celebrate our victory, i just went to curl in bed. My uterus was punishing me for taking it to high altitude. It was a long night. The flow seeped through my protective sheet, and I was stressed.just-dying

Somebody needs to make pads for Endo warriors. A super long, super absorbent and super comfortable pad. I tried wearing two pads, before, but yo! that was extremely uncomfortable, I got a skin irritation from the pad materials, so I was left torn between heavy flow and irritation. They make for a horrible combination.

I tried adding cotton but that too was uncomfortable. Tampons are a story for another day.

Why are there only 8 pads in one packet? How many is one supposed to use in a day so that they are enough for the cycle? For me to be comfortable each month, I need between  two and three packets. Now, I’m able to buy as many as I’d like, but back then, being a teenager whose flow was out of this world, that was difficult.

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Why don’t suppliers keep their supply regular? It is soo frustrating when you finally find a pad that works for you and then it’s out of stock, or better still, a bootleg version floods the market and now you have to choose another brand and pray your way through your periods. Because your poor bum is so sore.

I’d love to see a pad company, tailor make a pad for girls with Endo. A brand that understands that when it rains, it pours and definitely overflows. One that understands that clots are real and we’d like a cotton top sheet, one that doesn’t irritate our bums. All for the same price, because Endo is already costly enough.

.

Love always,

Ess

 

The Diary Of A Kenyan Endo Warrior: Period Shaming

 

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Dear Diary,

My heart is heavy. Thinking about my periods as a teenager has brought tears to my eyes. When my periods became painful I heard all manner of comments from other women about how I should suck it up and put my brave face on. “No one needs to know you are on your period. Every woman has a period, you are not the first to have one and you surely won’t be the last”. These are words I heard so many times, and each time they pierced my heart.

I learned to put my brave face on and suck it up. Sometimes the pain was so severe that I couldn’t sit in class. The school nurse was not of much help. She quickly drew an image of the female reproductive system, explained that periods were normal and so was the pain, as she gave me two paracetamols.

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I remember those pills were so hard to swallow, I always said a prayer as I swallowed them. Sometimes she wouldn’t let me rest, because I’d become a ‘repeat offender’, a regular in her office every month. Yet, I never prayed for a painful period. After all, who likes to be sick anyway? I dislike being sick. I felt guilty for being sick, ashamed to be a woman. Sad that I was ‘that’ girl, the one with the problematic period.

Every woman gets periods but not every woman has Endometriosis. Just because your period is painless, doesn’t negate another woman’s painful experience.

Over the years, I grew tired of pretending to be okay when my uterus was collaborating with other organs to kill me slowly. I wore a brave face, while all along, I was dying slowly.

The thing that I wish all women knew is:  Just because your period is painless, doesn’t negate another woman’s painful experience. We need to stop period shaming, and talk about periods openly.

Painful. Periods. Are. Not. Normal!

Love always,

Ess

The Diary Of A Kenyan Endo Warrior: It’s A Bloody Affair

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Dear Diary,

As a little girl, I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up. This dream quickly fizzled away where I was in high school because my periods happened, and little did I know, Endometriosis was looming.

Back in primary school, I looked forward to my menarche because it meant I was becoming a woman. Home science lessons on puberty were interesting and I even had a pad bag packed, just to be prepared for the big day.

When my period eventually came, I was taken aback. Here was the blood I had been waiting for, but it was a very different experienced from what I expected. On the first day, I excitedly told my mum it had come and she in turn broke the news to my dad. He barely looked up from his newspaper as she spoke, his reaction was a shrug as he mumbled something in the lines of ‘ahhh, okay’.

As much as I paid attention in class, that valuable information did not prepare me for the reality on the ground. Nope. Not at all. I didn’t know how it should feel, smell, or look. And so I thought that the pain was normal, I was convinced it was normal and I embraced the painful normal.

My periods robbed me of a part of my life. I missed out on school; on fun; on life.

It was a bloody affair. My periods were horrible, the sight of blood grossed me out, the smell repulsed me. Some days I thought I was dying because the flow was so heavy. One pad was not enough to hold the flow, so I learned how to wear more than one pad and use other reinforcements.  The clots, oh the clots, they freaked me out. Nobody told me that chunks of body tissue mixed with blood would come out of me. The first time I saw them I was so scared; after seeing them for a couple of months, I realized that they were my normal, my painful, unsightly normal. Soiling my sheets was a regular occurrence, I didn’t understand how one could sleep and wake up without having an accident. And I hated every part of it. Every. Single. Part. Of. It. Especially the pain and the blood. Because the blood came with sweat and tears. My periods left me drained, upset and bitter. I hated this bloody affair.

Love always,

Ess

 

The Diary Of A Kenyan Endo Warrior

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Dear Diary,

Endometriosis Awareness month is here.

After 8 years, I am finally ready to share my story in detail. I’m excited but I also feel burdened because there are so many girls and women suffering in silence. 8 years ago, I was that girl, sad, confused, angry at my body, life and God; and in pain. I was in a dark place, tears had become my food. A cocktail of painkillers were my lifesavers. Shark week was more like shark month, I had more days of pain than those without pain. I hated every part of it. I was tired, boy was I tired. I slept tired, woke up tired, spent the whole day tired. I didn’t have to do anything to be tired, I was just tired; tired of being in pain, tired of taking painkillers, tired of not fitting into my clothes, tired of missing out on life, tired of having my periods; tired of being tired.

Deep down, I hope that sharing my thoughts here, will help some of them know that they are not alone and that there is hope. And it’s okay to be tired. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to realize that the only way to go is up.

Here’s to sharing my story and uncovering the memories of loneliness, pain, despair, confusion, fear, healing, joy and peace.

Love always,

Ess

 

Calling All Endo Warriors in +254

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. This March, we have an opportunity to wear a touch of yellow daily and share something with our circles about Endometriosis. The information we share could change a girls life and save her from living in shame and silence.

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Let us make this invisible disease, visible and audible. Talk, post and tweet about Endometriosis. Dispel the myths about Endo and help other women know that the pain is not all in their heads and they are not alone.

not-the-endo-me

The Endometriosis Foundation of Kenya is hosting a high tea for Endo warriors in Kenya. This is a good opportunity to come meet other Endo warriors, and hear exactly what the EFK is, what they plan to do and how you can plug in.

endo-high-tea

As always, if you would like to share your Endo story to encourage other women living with Endometriosis in Kenya, please send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

Blessings,

Ess

#TheKenyanEndoStory: Elsie Wandera

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The second Kenyan Endo warrior sharing her story with us is Elsie Wandera. Hers is a story of pain, hope and sisterhood. After struggling to get a diagnosis, she vowed to help other women know that they do not have to suffer in silence, and they do not have to walk alone. She is the founder of the Endometriosis Foundation of Kenya.

 

My name is Elsie Wandera and I am 36yrs old. I am a trained Journalist & recently graduated with a degree in Communication – Advertising major from Daystar University. I have experience in Personal Administration and I’ve worked in a marketing capacity for 2 FMCGs. I am also the founder of Endometriosis Foundation of Kenya focusing on raising awareness and advocacy on Endometriosis. I am also the founder of My Heart Scripted where we run a 10-week experience called Purity & Purpose, that helps women pursue purity and unlock purpose.

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The thing that makes me smile is knowing that I have played my part in making the world a better place and seeing other people smile thus.

 

Where it all begun

I started my periods when I was in primary school. I sincerely thought I was dying and I remember I was in the shower crying because I could see this brownish flow that I could not tell where it was coming from. My mom then told me it was okay and I remember I had to buy pads and that was exciting as a girl. I even remember how they smelt then 🙂

 

Managing the pain

The pain begun when I was in high school around the age of 14 or 15. I remember I experienced such bad pain that I had to be in the clinic during the days. I also know that these were formational years for me because I thought there was something wrong with me. I continued the journey with the knowledge that periods are painful and I dreaded the days.

 

Diagnosis and treatment

I was finally diagnosed with Endometriosis in 2006 through a laparoscopic procedure and the only way to simplify it for me the Obs/Gyn told me that my uterus was growing inside out. He found a chocolate ovarian cyst that was bleeding and it was by God’s grace that he found it because it was one of the things that contributed to the pain.

 

Upon diagnosis, I was put on a hormonal therapy treatment. This was administered subcutaneously every 28 days below the navel line for 6 months. It had the worst side-effects for me among them headaches, hot flashes, breast tenderness, nausea & vaginal dryness. Once I completed the dose the effects of endometriosis which include, chronic pelvic pain, painful bowel movement, painful sex & heavy bleeding became worse. I recall lying in an ER calling my Obs/Gyn and asking him amidst tears why it is back. That was when he revealed that it has no known cure and is recurring in nature. What’s interesting is that he requested me to consider getting pregnant soon (I was 26 then) because one of the effects it contributes to infertility among women. However, this is not a solution but a Band-Aid for 9-months that does not guarantee that the condition will not relapse.

 

At 34, I had to go through another laparoscopic procedure where the they removed another ovarian cyst and the adhesions around my uterus. This was interesting because I did not know that surgeons had specific parts of the body they could cut and others they could not.file

 

Endometriosis has affected many aspects of my life 

The condition caused physical pain and as a result I dreaded my period and yet it is a gift from God that should be enjoyed by any woman. I had difficulty going for long calls and it was the worst feeling – worse than constipation. I also had very painful ovulation and I know sometimes I called it “the egg-is-moving day.” I was also dependent on pain medication and anticipated pain every month which is not the way any woman should live their life. I also stopped eating as the period approached due to the nausea and difficulty passing long and short calls.

 

Emotionally it was draining because I had negative thoughts and more importantly, because of the research around the condition and what one doctor told me, I knew I would never conceive. At some point I thought it was God punishing me for a life I’d lived carelessly before.

 

Socially I was always uncomfortable because I needed to explain myself and why I was going through crippling pain. I was conscious and limited in dressing comfortably because for me it meant sagging clothes because of the physical discomfort during my period and the heavy flow…God forbid I’d stain a seat when the flow opened after a bubble escaped…messy days.

 

Professionally, I dreaded having to explain my colleagues and leaders that once every month I’d be disabled and sometimes unable to come to the office. It’s interesting that on those days people would still expect me to deliver my tasks and it would seem like it is not as serious as other physical ailments. But over all I never had an issue especially after I learned what the condition was and that it had a name.

 

I have made changes in my lifestyle

The biggest changes I had to make are around diet and physical exercise because I understood the disease and what it would require of me. I cut down on gluten, wheat, dairy and red meats and increased intake of greens, super foods & supplements to ensure I was enriching my nutritional value. Water intake also is my highest priority because it is a natural cleanser.

 

My current challenges

I think sticking to the diet and relapsing to eating unhealthy foods is the greatest struggle. I’ve learned my body enough to know when I’m craving foods I try to compensate with a healthy choice.

 

Learnings from the journey and words of wisdom to other women suffering

I think my greatest learning was understanding that my body is different from another woman and I have to prioritize my health, because no one else will if I neglect it’s cry.

 

We also need support from the world and by telling my story I’ve encouraged another woman know she is not alone. Therefore, tell your family and friends once you are diagnosed and stop self-medicating and seek professional advise because the body was not built to constantly rely on medication. We also need support from government, employers and medical industry for the sake of all the women in finding a cure and supporting them in every way we can because it takes away our most reproductive years of our lives which we cannot relive.

 

Endo changed  my life

I believe out of the pain this journey my life changed and I chose to speak up about this condition which many women suffer in silence because most think it’s shameful to speak about.

 

Also leading the movement reminds me that I’ve got followers who desire to be resorted as I was and therefore it is ensuring that they have a reference point and encouragement as they journey.

 

Finally, to the world:

Every woman’s pain is valid and if doesn’t matter that you don’t understand it matters that you stand with her as it is not easy to bear.

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I love carnations 🙂

You can connect with Elsie on Facebook and join The Endometriosis Foundation of Kenya  Facebook group.

Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

Thank you Elsie for sharing your story with us. You are a star!! ❤

If you would like to be featured in #TheKenyanEndoStory, please send an email to yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

Blessings,

Ess

It’s Time to Declutter Your Beauty Products, Cleaning Agents and Medicine Cabinet

Happy new year 🙂

About two years ago, I formed a tradition. At the beginning of the year, I declutter my hair and beauty products, cleaning agents and medicine cabinet. It’s a tedious but rewarding exercise. The first time I did it, I was shocked by how much junk I had in the name of products. I was just a hoarder, and I was holding on to expired products.I was horrified when I realized I’d been using some expired products without knowing.

I was poisoning myself slowly.

In the process of decluttering, I read the ingredients lists and saw just how many chemicals I was bombarding my endocrine system with. It was too much. So I resolved to use less chemical laden products where possible.

I replaced most of my sweet smelling lotions with natural oils, my hair products with natural ingredient products, commercial cleaning agents with home combinations (vinegar and bicarbonate can do wonders.) My house keeper was surprised to see how many uses vinegar has. I’ll share some of the ways I use it in my next post.

It has been a journey trying to eradicate most of the chemicals, especially since I like sweet smelling products. But it has been rewarding. I have found alternatives that are kinder to my body and I feel much better. The pain and inflammation has largely reduced.

This is the rule I hope to live by: If I can’t pronounce the ingredients, I probably shouldn’t be consuming the product in question.

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Take time out and go through the products in your home. Throw out what needs to go, and start using products that are kinder to your body.  If it doesn’t have an expiry date and it is not a completely natural product, throw it out. Very few commercial products are meant to last forever.

It may seem like you have gone at a loss, but in reality, you have gained in terms of your health. Health is wealth. Your body can now get a breather from the toxin overload.

Here’s to a healthy 2017!

Blessings,

Ess

Celebration Time C’mon!!!

The festive season is here, and it’s time to celebrate the birth of Christ and the year that has been.

As we wind up 2016, take stock of your year. Write down the things that you are grateful for; what made you happy ; what made you sad; what you are leaving behind and what you are carrying forward into the new year.

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Celebrate yourself!

You’ve made it through a whole year despite the challenges and curve balls that life has thrown your way.

Write a letter to your 2016 old self, tell her how wonderful she is, remind her that she is able to achieve all of her goals. Encourage her to keep dreaming, and living out her dreams.

Happy holidays,

Ess

Endo Pain Management Tips

Endometriosis is unique. Two women can suffer from Endometriosis but exhibit different symptoms and experience different levels of pain. What is universal though is, Endo sucks. I’m yet to meet a woman who thinks having Endometriosis is plain exciting and exhilarating. If anything, it takes out the light from aspects of life. Pain has a way of dulling experiences.

Different things work for different people. You may have to try different things before you find what works, but when you do, hang on to it with all you’ve got.

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For me, ingesting Apple Cider Vinegar was a life saver. Literally. The pain levels went from unbearable ‘I’m.dying’ to a cramp here and there. Praise be to God (do I hear an Amen?)

Here are a few Endo pain management tips courtesy of Patty’s Beauty World that you can try out.

*A hot bath with 2 cups of Epsom salts mixed in, they also sell lavender Epsom salts.

* A heating pad.

*Gluten free probiotics daily and keep them in fridge, no dairy, red meat, soy, gluten and flaxseed.

*A book by Julie daniluk is good lots of recipes , book is called meals that heal inflammation.

*A tens machine can help pain, buy it at some pharmacies or on amazon, got mine for $35 on amazon.

*Castor oil soaked in a small all cotton towel, then squeeze out excess oil and place on your tummy. Then place a plastic bag on top of towel, then place a heating pad. Leave on for one hour lying down relaxing. Repeat 3x week and everyday on your period, it will help with pain, indigestion, bloating. The more you do it the better it works over time.

*Light exercise like yoga or pilates. Light stretching, yoga and pilates.

*Also I drink almond milk 35 calories instead . Peppermint tea, lavender tea, chamomile tea helps, dandelion or dandelion root tea and chai tea.

*Visanne is an endo drug that has helped a lot of women.

*Acupuncture can also help alleviate pain too.

*Ginger capsules 250mg 4x a day, Helps with cramps and nausea and it’s all natural. Also turmeric capsules daily helps with inflammation and pain. To add taste to your tea use manuka honey if available.

*Melatonin 20mg at bed will help you sleep and it is all natural. The body produces melatonin but some do not produce enough, so these pills really work great and they are all natural.

*Lavender essential oil is good to calm you and help with pain. Rub a few drops on your tummy to ease pain, and if you have a headache rub a couple of drops on your forehead. Also a drop of essential oil lavender on each temple. You can even smell it a little to calm you down.

Have you tried something that has worked for you and you’d like to share with other ladies? Please send me an email yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I’ll post it.

All the best. I pray that you find something that works and healing all around.

Blessings upon blessings,

Ess

6 Tips To Prepare For Surgery

The words, ‘we need to operate’ shook me in my boots. The next couple of days were a blur. I didn’t know what to expect so I didn’t really prepare myself psychologically or physically for that matter. I was told that it would be a day procedure, so I took a matatu to the hospital at 9am, and I planned to take a matatu back home. Only to wake up and find that the anesthesia would take hours to wear off, and during that time, my mouth would speak more words than usual and I would be floating and dreamy. Thank God for angels, who came just in time to save me from staggering err floating to the matatu stage.

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When you hear the words, “We need to operate”, here are a few things you can do to prepare for the big day:

  1. Seek a second opinion

If you have any doubt about a suggested procedure, please seek a second opinion. Remember the factors to consider when seeking a second opinion.

       2. Get more information

Read widely about the procedure and anesthesia options. Talk to other people who have undergone the surgery online and offline about the procedure and it’s effects on your body.

Discuss with your doctor any history of allergies or side effects to drugs. Don’t leave anything out, a small detail could save your life.

Find out what you need to do to prepare for the surgery, foods you should increase, supplements you should or shouldn’t take. Confirm if you they will need you to have bare nails.

         3. Evaluate the options

If time allows, visit the hospital options then make an informed decision. Postoperative care is important as the doctor is not able to be with you during your whole stay.

Look at the other services offered by the hospital and see how prepared they are in case of an emergency.

         4. Pray and keep hope alive

Pray! Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT)

Make a thanksgiving jar, and write the things that you are thankful for, both the big and the small. Allow your mind to focus on the good aspects of life.

         5. Prepare ahead

Inform your next of kin that you will be going to hospital and having an operation done.

Arrange for someone to drop you off and help you with the admission process. On the day of discharge, have someone help you with the process so that you can rest as you prepare to go back home.

Back at home, organize meals in advance that need minimal preparation. Plan to be off your feet for the next couple of days. Get someone to help you with the housework as you get your strength back.

         6. Find a support group

There are many other women who are walking the same path that you are. Their first hand experience means that they understand the journey better. Find a group and keep in contact, let them remind you that you are not alone and it gets better. Some of the closest bonds are formed in times of pain.

All the best! I pray you have a successful surgery and a swift healing process.

Blessings,

Ess

 

Endometriosis Is Real and Resilient-32 Surgeries Later

Time and time again, I meet a woman who has been strongly advised to have her uterus removed because it’s removal will cure Endometriosis.

This myth needs to be dispelled from the mountain tops.

“A hysterectomy is not a cure for Endometriosis.”

Meet Patricia Roy, a woman with strength beyond words. A woman whose had 32 surgeries because of Endometriosis. From her we learn that Endo is real. Endo is resilient; but we are more than Endo.

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Hi! My name is Patricia and I am 41 years old. My period started at the age of 14, and I couldn’t wait to start my period. It meant I was a woman in my eyes. I started having period issues at 15 years old. My mom took me to my sisters gyno because my sister had endometriosis and I was showing symptoms. After I saw the gyno he did surgery and I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 16.

When I was first diagnosed i didn’t worry about it, because it wasn’t severe. But I was put in birth control to help with my periods, then the pain started increasing and was put on Depo provera injections. Those didn’t work so I was put on Lupron and that also did not help. I had many surgeries to clean out the endometriosis and at 21 it was decided a full hysterectomy would be best for stage 4 endo. I thought it would be a cure, but it was not a cure.

I do regret the hysterectomy. Because it’s not a cure. And I always wanted a baby if my own. It was a very dark time in my life when I had my hysterectomy, my writing helped me cope.

 

This disease changed my life in many ways. I was unable to finish college because I was too sick. I worked off and on but eventually I had to be put on disability. Emotionally my journey with this illness has caused me a lot of anxiety and panic attacks.

I have had 32 surgeries so far and I currently have endo on my bladder and cysts all over my pelvis. I started a support group on facebook called Sisters in Yellow.

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I currently started writing for a magazine called  Streetfashion I am the beauty editor. Although at the moment it doesn’t pay, so I look at it as a learning experience. I always wanted to be a writer since I was little. I write poetry and song lyrics. My writing has gotten me through a lot of dark times, dealing with this disease.

My advice to other women is to take it one day at a time, and to find a hobby that takes your mind off the pain. I’ve also come across a lot of pain methods that are natural and can be done in the comfort of your home. I have a beauty page where I share home pain methods.

My favorite flowers are Daisy or Calalily. My favorite color is light purple.

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The beautiful thing about Patricia is that she has not let Endo dull her sparkle. 32 surgeries later, she still has a smile on her face and light to shine to the rest of the world.

Be encouraged, you are not alone. Shine where you are.

Blessings,

Ess

Why I Keep A Period Diary

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Ever since I was a little girl , I always kept a diary. It was my outlet and a way of keeping a record of the little details of my life.  Unfortunately, I was not very detailed about my periods and their patterns, so when I needed this information, it was nowhere to be found. I answered the doctor with a lot of ‘Umm, I can’t quite remember’ and blank looks with several breaks in between as I tried to run up and down the corridors of my memory trying to remember key details. I am sure that there are many ‘little’ important details that I left out during these consultations.

After many years of trying (and failing) to recall from memory I finally discovered the Period Diary app and it literally changed my life. I was finally able to document my period journey daily, and a couple of months later I begun to recognize patterns in my cycle.

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I quickly realized that my menstrual cycle is not just about the day(s) that I shed the lining  of my uterus. It is about what I experience through the whole cycle, my emotions, diet , ovulation. It is the vaginal discharge all through, the color and texture of the actual shedding. Keeping a period diary has helped me to be more in control of my body, as I know what it’s triggers are and what to anticipate at different times. I am definitely more prepared for the occasional pain, PMS symptoms and actual periods.

Keeping a diary has helped me to see the cause and effect of different things that I’ve tried. For instance, when I detoxed and started taking an Apple Cider Vinegar elixir every morning the inflammation and pain during my cycle significantly reduced. I also figured out that the monthly headaches were reducing over the months, so I was definitely doing something right.

I recommend keeping a period diary to all women, both young and old, whether you have complications or not. It helps you to understand your body, it’s functions and your emotions.

Mothers with teenage daughters, I urge you to ask your girls to keep a period diary as soon as they start their periods. After every couple of months, sit down and review it with them. Talk about the patterns that you both recognize. Many girls don’t know what a normal period is. They often just take their periods as they are,  persevere, until they are adults and realize that something was wrong all along.

There are several period diary apps that you can choose from on the Play store. This is the one that has worked best for me.

If you opt to keep a physical diary, these are some of the details to record:

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Blessings,

Ess

Seeking A Second Opinion

Never be afraid to ask questions about  your body and the things that you have been told it has or doesn’t have or can and can’t do.

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After a long time of searching for someone to believe your symptoms and give you a diagnosis, it is possible to feel an allegiance to the doctor who finally puts a name to the pain or discomfort. Sometimes it is important to get a second opinion, to confirm that the diagnosis and suggested methods of treatment are the most appropriate for your case.

You need to notify your current doctor so that they can avail copies of your imaging studies, medical records, lab and test results for review. Some doctors may be uneasy about you getting a second opinion, in such cases, stick to your gut feeling and go in with an open mind.

Look for a doctor:

a) who doesn’t have a personal or professional relationship with your current doctor. This will help your healthcare to remain the primary objective.

b) who has the training and experience to offer fresh insight into your condition. Do not move from a Gynecologist to a General Practitioner when dealing with Endometriosis.

It is important to note that different doctors’ school of thought, training, exposure and methods may cause them to differ in opinion. The diagnosis may even change. If the opinions of these doctors differ to a large extent then it may be wise to seek a third opinion to make a decision, and hope that the diagnosis and treatment methods lean more to one of the two.

All in all, my prayer is that you find a specialist who will walk with you and give you the care that you need.

Blessings,

Ess

 

Preparing To Visit To The Gynecologist

Visiting a gynecologist for the first time can be confusing and exhausting. I was ill-prepared for my first visit, I barely knew what to expect which made my experience harder than it needed to be.

Over the years, I have come up with a preparation strategy that has yielded great results. I find my visits to the gynecologist now more comprehensive, and the waiting room does not discourage me.

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Here are some tips to help you prepare for your visits to the gynecologist.

1. Call in advance

Doctors are busy people. It is wise to call in advance and make sure that the doctor will be in on the day that you want to go. If the Doctor is very busy and constantly in theatre, call on the day to confirm that he will be in.

If the doctor sees patients by appointment only, be sure to make an appointment in advance.

If the doctor sees patients on a first come, first served basis, find out what time he comes in and leaves, then plan to be there in good time.

Confirm payment terms in advance; if you are using insurance, find out if they accept your insurance cover and if you have to co-pay. If you are paying cash, confirm the amount for first visit and subsequent visits. Clarify the terms of payment accepted, if they accept credit card or M-Pesa or cash.

 2. Write down the key points of your story 

For the doctor to treat you well, it is best if s/he hears the whole story, from the beginning. Write down the key points of your story so that you can refer to them, when asked ‘How can I help you today?’.

Points you can consider:

When did you start your periods? How were they? Your current cycle pattern? If you’ve had a diagnosis made, note down dates. Current symptoms you are experiencing and when they begun. Any family history that s/he should be aware of? Which medicines have you tried and what was your experience? Any drug allergies

3. Carry supporting documents

If you’ve had diagnostic tests done, carry the results so that the doctor can have a look at them . If you are currently taking any medication, carry it for the doctor to see.

4. Write down questions and concerns you may have

Did you read something on google that sparked a number of questions? Note them down. As you ask the questions, remember that google is not a Doctor.

5. Have a meal and carry a form of entertainment

Waiting rooms can be boring and morbid. Sometimes you meet happy-go-lucky people, and sometimes you meet people who’d rather sit in silence. To avoid prolonged small talk that may or may not be appreciated, carry a form of entertainment to keep your mind off of the time you spend waiting.

Waiting can make you hungry, if you can, have a meal before you enter the waiting room.

All the best. As you go, pray that God who knit you in your mother’s womb will give the doctor divine wisdom to treat you.

Blessings,

Ess

10 Factors To Consider When Choosing A Gynaecologist

My first visit to the gynecologist was not what I expected; I was confused, afraid and uncomfortable. After many hours in the waiting room, I finally walked in and saw him. The doctor was a middle aged man who was not too chatty or ‘warm’ but he got the job done. I was young and naive; I was scared because the pain in my abdomen was getting worse as the days went by. I was all alone and looking for consolation but the doctor’s personality was not very warm. In retrospect, I would have chosen differently.

I didn’t really have a criteria when choosing the doctor. After various campus clinic with recurrent pain, the campus doctor just told me to go see one of the doctors on the insurance list. I used the nursery rhyme ‘inky pinky ponky’ to help me choose one. There was nothing objective about this choice; though the campus doctor backed my decision.

Over the years, as I’ve turned different chapters in my health story I’ve had to choose other gynecologists. A couple of doctors later, I finally have a list of factors that I consider before I settle on a gynecologist.

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1. Your need

It is important to know why you are looking for a gynecologist. Is it for a routine visit-pap smear, mammogram, vaccine? Are you looking for an obstetrician to walk with you through your pregnancy? Are you having complications with your period-pain, irregular menses, other condition such as PID, Endometriosis, PCOS? Are you having a difficult time conceiving?

2. The doctors speciality

Gynecologists are not exactly a one size fits all.

Some conditions are better treated by a specialist. Based on your need, consider what the doctor specializes in, then narrow down the list. If your struggling to conceive, a fertility specialist would be a better fit compared to an Obs/Gyn.

3. Payment services

If you are using an insurance cover, find out if the doctor take your insurance cover and what the limit is. It is also important to inquire what the consultation fee is, just incase you need to pay the consultant out of pocket.

4. Availability

Does the doctor have very long lines? Are they only available on certain days? Are they available on phone in case of an emergency? If your current schedule is not flexible then a busy doctor will be difficult to keep up with.

5. Hospitals They Can Operate At

Incase you need to be admitted and have a surgery, find out if the doctor can perform the surgery at your preferred hospitals.

6. Testimonials

Ask around and objectively analyze other people’s experiences with the doctor. Remember that everyone’s experience is personal and two people may differ in opinion.

Personal Preferences

7. Gender

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor? Your doctor should make you feel comfortable and not like your privacy is being infringed upon.

8. Age

Do you prefer a young doctor or an older one with more motherly or fatherly tendencies? Consider which age group makes you feel more at ease.

9. Faith/Religion

If you feel a doctor who shares your faith beliefs will be able to walk with you better, look for one.

10. Your Instinct

Visit the doctor and trust your instinct, listen to your inner voice. Make sure you settle for a doctor who inspires confidence, and lets you know that you’ve been heard and are in safe hands.

All the best in your search.

Blessings,

Ess

The Conversation Needs To Go On

Gone are the days when parents could wait for the eve of their child’s 12th birthday to broach the subject of adolescents and sex. Children are maturing much earlier now, also, they are exposed to a lot of informative content from a tender age. Their attitudes and thought patterns are formed long before they hit teenage.

The truth is that we live in a highly sexualized world.

Just because you are not talking about it doesn’t mean that your child is not listening.

The world is filled with opinions and children are wired to learn, from whoever is teaching.

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You can’t wake up the eve of your child’s 12th birthday and decide to be an authority on a matter they have heard about over the years from everyone except you. Unlearning is harder than being taught.

The seemingly uncomfortable subjects need to be discussed . Children can sense discomfort and shame. We as parents have to be careful not to pass on baggage to our children. If a certain topic makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you need to look within and see what exactly makes about it makes you feel uncomfortable and deal with it.

A truth zone

In my first post, I wrote about how I was told pads were called ‘mkate’ (bread). Honestly, it was such an unnecessary lie, but it stuck in my memory.

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It made me decide that my home will be a truth zone. There are enough lies being told out there, for me to come and add on to. My children need to know that I can be trusted to tell them the truth.

Can your child trust you to be honest with them?

When I say honest, I don’t mean spill all the beans, but tell them enough to satisfy their curiosity. Tell them the age appropriate truth.

Listen when they speak

It is important to listen to your children when they speak. Ask questions about both the small and grande things about their lives and listen. Turn down the noise, put away the gadgets and listen. Find out what makes them happy, their current interests and opinions. It’s easier to identify behaviour out of the norm when you know what the norm is.

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The conversation needs to go on. It starts now. Honesty starts now. Cultivating a relationship with your child that allows you to teach them the truth and life skills starts now.

We can sit back and blame the rotten society for our children’s beliefs or we can stand up and speak the truth.

You are an authority. Take your position and speak boldly.

Blessings,

Ess

 

When Sex Hurts #TheKenyanEndoStory

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Sex is supposed to be synonymous with pleasure. Sometimes, it is not, and pain takes the place of pleasure. Over time, it is possible for this to strain a marriage. One of the symptoms of Endometriosis is pain during or after sex.

Pain during sex is seldom talked about and many women and marriages are suffering in silence. In honor of Endometriosis Awareness Month earlier this year, I asked Maggie Gitu, a Marriage and Family Therapist and Sex therapist to expound on what to do when sex hurts because of endometriosis or adenomyosis.

courtesy ofhttp://signaturextra.com/5-medical-conditions-ways-to-deal-with-painful-sx

Sex is one of the most important and fun ways for married couples to connect. Painful sex, however, is no one’s idea of a good time. Painful sexual intercouse, also known as dyspareunia, is the persistent pain that occurs during or after sexual intercourse. Dyspareunia can occur as a result of a variety of issues such as insufficient lubrication, trauma, surgery or physical conditions such as vaginismus, endometriosis or adenomyosis. Endometriosis is caused when tissue that lines the uterus grows outside of the uterus, while adenomyosis happens when uterine tissue grown into the uterine wall. Both of these conditions can interfere with sexual intercourse.

While the presence of endometriosis or adenomyosis can interfere with a couple’s sexual pleasure, there is no need for sexual intimacy to cease altogether. So what’s a couple to do?

Communicate:

It may sound cliché but it’s absolutely true. It’s important for a couple to communicate openly and honestly about what is happening in their marital bed. Even going for doctor visits together would be helpful in allowing male partners to hear the information directly from a qualified medical professional, which may increase their understanding and empathy for their female partners.

It is also important to allow room in the marriage for honesty: room to speak honestly about the challenges of having to deal with a condition, irritation at having to avoid certain sexual positions that you would want to try but can’t because of the pain to the partner, the guilt or shame that is common with partners who feel like they are being denied the sexual adventures they imagined they would have. Remember that these feelings are about the situation, not the person. The bottom line is that openness and honesty will be crucial if a couple is to enjoy their sex life.

Lose It:

Lose the guilt, because none of this is your fault, and even when/where you could have done better, now you can because now you know better. Lose the blame; again, this serves no purpose in enhancing the intimacy in your marriage. Accept that this is the situation that you’re in, find a competent doctor to work with you and move forward determined to enjoy your sex life together, inspite of a diagnosis of endometriosis/adenomyosis. Lose the bad attitude; it’s going to destroy your sex life, which will in turn negatively impact other aspects of your marriage. Lose anything and everything that will interfere with your ability to connect as a couple. If you need more support, more information, or additional medical intervention, all you ever have to do is ask, so ask! Your doctor will advise you on all the options that are available. Lose the pressure to be perfect; sex is about connection, intimacy and fun not an Olympic performance with a score board. Relax into it; remember that you are not alone, and there is help and support to be found for those who take the time to seek. 

Attitude:

When it comes to sex, attitude is everything. Even without the added challenges of endometriosis or adenomyosis, the attitude a couple has about the kind of sex they want to have really does make all the difference. Instead of seeing these conditions in a strictly negative light, try to challenge yourselves on all the positive things that can come out of this, for example, the sexual positions that you hadn’t even thought to try might be exactly what you need in order to have sex life that you want.

Experiment and Have Fun:

Sex should be fun, so make it fun and experiment. As a couple, be open to different sexual positions, for example, while the missionary position may be painful for some women, it may be easier for you but you’ll never know unless you try. In addition, begin to figure out what sequences work best and which ones are best left alone e.g. some women find it easier to begin with one sexual position and then move on to other positions while some find that maintaining a single position is easiest on them. The point is, experiment! Make a game of it by coming up with a funny ranking system that you can both look forward to contributing to; be sure to add an exciting reward system 😉

Part of experimentation is understanding that sexual intercourse is not the only way to enjoy sexual intimacy. In other words, what are your sexual limits? What are you willing to try, even once? Developing your own sexual ‘playlist’ as you seek to increase your repertoire can be a fun way to take the pressure off by focusing on what feels good, not what ‘should’ feel good. With the right attitude, the issue may no longer be what the couple can’t do but instead be all the things they haven’t – yet. The sexual repertoire is endless so experiment and find out what works best for you.

A happy healthy sex life is vital for any couple and despite having a diagnosis of endometriosis/adenomyosis, it is achievable with communication, the right attitude and a sense of fun.

If you would like get in touch with Maggie, you can reach her via maggiegitu@hotmail.com, +254 734 757 785 or @MaggietheMezzo .

I initially shared this post on my other blog Bibi2be.com

Pain during sex affects a woman and her relationship. My heart has had a burden for women who are going through a hard time in this area. This August, I will be hosting an event to support women who have struggled with pain during sex and the emotional turmoil that it comes with.

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If you are a woman living with Endometriosis in Kenya who would be interested in talking about pain during sex more candidly with a small group of women facing the same challenge and a counselor, please send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I’ll send you more details. Due to the nature of the conversation, the sessions will be very small.

Blessings,

Ess

#TheKenyanEndoStory : Nurah Palesa

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The first Kenyan Endo warrior sharing her story with us is Nurah Palesa. Hers is a story of pain, despair, strength, courage and hope.

Before I turned 10, the year that pain became the filter to which I would see life, I was eagerly awaiting my periods. I looked forward to it like a boy would await his ceremonial rites of passage. I wanted to see the drops of blood on my underwear and have a crazy happy dance celebrating my new life as a woman.

 

I am Queen Nurah, and at the age of 25 I have lived with Endometriosis for 15 years now. I run on happiness. There is no one thing that makes me happy, a combination of the things that pull my heart strings is how I live. As for my profession, let’s just say that I am a Storyteller and Poet.

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Where it all begun

 

The pain begun immediately I started my periods. I was sitting in the back of the class, talking as usual and ignoring what the teacher was writing on the board. Then my insides were attacking me. It felt like someone had run a knife across my abdomen over and over again. I shakily put up my hand and asked if I could go to the bathroom.

When I got into the cubicle, something told me to check my underwear and hoorah I had blood. But I couldn’t do the crazy happy dance, not with the pain that I was feeling.

I remember going to one of the “nice” female teachers and telling her I got my period and that I was in intense pain. She was nice, she showed me how to put a pad on and for the pain she said that it was normal and hot water would help. “Normal? Are you crazy, I feel like I’m dying!” I thought to myself as I gave her a look that showed I thought she was crazy.

Maybe two hours later, I don’t exactly remember, my mother was called because now I was wailing and “causing a scene”. Hehehe, causing a scene.

At the end of the day my mom gave me Syndol. Yep Syndol. That confirmed my suspicion that the pain I had was not normal and for the next 7 days I suffered.

 

Managing the pain

For 13 years I was subjected to excruciating pain before my periods, during my periods and 3 days after my periods. In total I was in pain 15 days out of the month.

I ended up having a cocktail of painkillers in my bags. Here is the list with what I started to what I take now:

  • Syndol (4-6 pills in an hour/day)
  • Betapyn (5-6)
  • Postan (10)
  • Brufen (10)
  • Buscopan (10-12)
  • Buscopan plus (it would land in my stomach and I would throw up immediately)
  • iBoprufen (40 mg 6, 80mg 7-8)
  • Vykadin (6)
  • And now I’m on tramadol 100mg and when the pain gets really bad I go for the shot.

And while I was on these pain meds I sometimes found that mixing them would help. And when I say help, I mean level the pain to a degree that I could function and not snap at people.

The pain haze of life is amazing. It changes how you look at everything and how you react. Physical pain makes life 300 times worse. Well for me. Someone else could be different.

I had the worst mood swings, had a short fuse and basically I would just want to cry and be alone most of the time. I am generally a nice, gentle happy Queen, but you don’t want to make me mad when I am in pain.

Oh wait, did I forgot to mention that I would get high off the pain meds… lol aaaand that I was a heavy alcohol drinker. For 7 good years.

The combination of alcohol and a cocktail of pain meds made the pain bearable.

I remember when I joined uni and my girlfriends would watch me pack my clutch bag with tampons and meds (3 strips of 10 so basically 30 pills) and they would ask if I was ok. Little did they know that I would have gone through 2 of the strips by midnight.

I would literally get high just to escape the pain.

When I was 22, fresh out of rehab (because others thought that alcohol was the problem) the pain kicked up a notch.

 

Finally, I got a diagnosis

 

Lower back pain and shoulder pain had kicked in, and I needed to know that there was a name for what I was going through. I went to see a gynaecologist and he diagnosed me with Endometriosis. I thought that finally I can get rid of the pain for good now that it’s an actual disease.

I went online and decided to learn all I could about my condition. That’s the type of person I am, I read and research on topics that are of interest to me. So I did what I do best; gather intel.

I found out that foods (which I had always known, I’m very strict with what I eat.) contributed to the pain levels and there was a diet I could start.

Eh….that diet did not work. In fact I ended up increasing my pain and losing even more weight.As for the endo diet, which is vegetarian I really tried… My body just didn’t accept it.. And recently I discovered that diets don’t work for everyone,  our blood types play a big role in the foods we need and as an O+ I need meat.. (Sticking to white)
So again I run around for another year looking for a solution and I found one. Or so I thought.

I went through a Laparoscopy where The Gynaecologist lasered the extra endometrium tissue that covered my ovaries and fallopian tubes and he put a Mirena Coil so that my fertility wouldn’t be compromised. (I had stage 4 of Endo at this point)

 

Relief at last

 

For the first time in 13 years I had no pain.

I loved my life; a zeal for it (which I still have) was born. You know when someone tells you to live life to the fullest and do what you want to do and wave your hands in the air like you don’t care?? Lol, yeah I did that for 3 good months before the pain came back.

 

Back to reality

 

As I write this I have the worst headache ever and my back and shoulders have decided to kick into level 400. The last two days have been brutal because I am ovulating and I can feel the damn egg travelling.

I could change my diet again or find some radical something that will help “ease or get rid of” the pain, maybe even look at the spiritual aspects of it, but my reality is that I am meant to have this pain. I’m just supposed to rise above it and live life to the fullest and that’s not an easy task.

Yoga helps me. And meditation. And maybe some teas here and there. Lemon, ginger and honey is amazing. I generally try and avoid junk and fast foods and sodas… Been on a general healthy diet from the word go.. My moms always been conscious about food.

 

Endo and Family

 

My family is very open with each other; my mom and sister also have endo and my brother was told early on about our periods.
The extended family is a whole different story. I like avoiding them as they disturb my positive energy fields.

I would love a whole football team of children lol.. 

Endo is genetic, my mom and I traced it back to her grandmother(Her dads mom)  so for me it doesn’t really matter if I have a daughter or son,  I’m going to have to tell them asap about endo.. And what they can do from the word go.

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Parting Shot

 

To my queens and princesses I agree it is soo not fair that we endure this pain.

Search for your solutions and remedies. Don’t let anyone stop you. 

However do not forget to live life to the fullest. Do what makes you happy; love yourself and play in the rain.

Oh and please be kind to your sister queen/princess.

Seriously, we women can be brutal to each other and it’s about time we stopped.

The black rose is my favourite flower.

You can check out Nurah’s blog here.

Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

Thank you Nurah for sharing your story with us. You are a star!! ❤

If you would like to be featured in #TheKenyanEndoStory, please send an email to yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

Blessings,

Ess

 

#TheKenyanEndoStory

When I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, I only knew one other woman with Endo and she was not willing to talk about her journey because of the stigma she had received. I was alone; I felt like an anomaly. My journey with Endo was very lonely and depressing. There are many times that I was almost consumed by these feelings. Suicide crossed my mind a couple of times. By God’s grace, I made it through.

As I researched about Endometriosis a few years back, I realized that there were many stories from the UK and USA but very few, if any, from Kenya. A few years later, I found other women in Kenya who were fighting Endometriosis; I was encouraged and wished I’d heard these stories of pain, strength and courage earlier.

 

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A couple of months ago, I had a dream to share stories of women suffering from Endometriosis in Kenya. I wanted the world at large and the people of Kenya to know that:

*If you know ten women, you know Endometriosis. It affects one in ten women.

*Endometriosis does not fit in a box, it is vast and multi-faceted. It attacks different organs, so every woman’s experience in unique.

*Endometriosis doesn’t have a trademark look. Many women are suffering yet they look normal. Behind their smiles are souls that carry pain unknown.

*Information is power. The more we talk about Endometriosis the more women we empower and together we decrease the stigma.

*We need policies that support women with Endometriosis in Kenya

*Specialized healthcare needs to be more affordable and accessible. Getting a diagnosis in Kenya is like buying a parcel of land.

Several months later,

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a new segment on this blog #TheKenyanEndoStory. yellowendoflower.wordpress.com.

It will feature stories of pain, hope, courage and strength to encourage women in Kenya and around the world. The first story goes live in a few minutes.
If you would like to be featured in ‘Her Endo Story’ #TheKenyanEndoStory, please send an me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

Blessings,

Ess

 

The Lonely Side Of Endometriosis

I’ve been unwell the last couple of days. The levels of pain reminded me of an Endo flare and the memories all came flooding back.

Yestermorning, I read the story of the woman who hemorrhaged for twelve years and had spent all her money on physicians in Luke 8. They couldn’t find a cure.

43 A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding,[g] and she could find no cure. 44 Coming up behind Jesus, she touched the fringe of his robe. Immediately, the bleeding stopped.

45 “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.

Everyone denied it, and Peter said, “Master, this whole crowd is pressing up against you.”

46 But Jesus said, “Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me.” 47 When the woman realized that she could not stay hidden, she began to tremble and fell to her knees in front of him. The whole crowd heard her explain why she had touched him and that she had been immediately healed.48 “Daughter,” he said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace.”

This really reminded me of Endometriosis, and my heart just went out to all the women suffering from Endometriosis. The truth is that unless we too, figure out how to touch the hem of His garment all we are doing is simply trying to manage the condition. There is no known medical cure for Endometriosis. 

After being sick for such a long time, you realize who your true friends are. Your life comes to a stand still. The vibrant life you once led now becomes a distant memory. As much as you would like to, you are not physically able to do everything you’d like to do. And it hurts. It hurts to watch a part of your life fade away. It’s sad when getting out of bed was the biggest achievement of the day.

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The shame. The questions. The roller coaster of emotions. The question “You are STILL sick?” becomes a constant. The labels are disheartening. The despair. The dismay. The disappointment. The discouragement. All these other things that come with Endometriosis make it a very lonely journey. Not many people are able to understand the turmoil and pain that you experience. Not many people understand the desperation to get well. Often we see people do seemingly crazy things in the hope of getting better. What I’ve learned is that unless you walked in the person’s shoes, you are better off shelving your judgement. You don’t know their pain. I know that I too have had crazy thoughts; I have been desperate for the pain to end. In those moments I was willing to do almost anything to take the pain away.

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Today I just want to encourage all women who feel like hope is lost, that you are not alone. As you lay in fetal position and cry your heart out, you are not alone. The Lord who knit you in your mother’s womb is right there. Do not stop pressing in, keep believing.

Sending you love and light,

‘Big Sis’

The Other Side of Endometriosis

Happy new month (:

For several years, I have spent time and money dealing with the symptoms of endometriosis. There have been countless doctor visits, lots of pills swallowed, scary surgeries. I mean, any surgery is scary, lots of anxiety, insomniac nights and worry.

However, when it comes to dealing with the root cause, I shy away. All of a sudden, I am too busy, or suddenly, some things seem to private; yet I have seen countless of doctors trying to decide what was wrong with my privates. The irony.

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A couple of weeks ago, I decided to go on an emotional journey, one of trying to figure out what triggered Endometriosis symptoms. This has been perhaps one of the hardest journeys I have ever been on. It makes the countless visits to the gynecologist , even the scary surgeries, seem like nothing.

Here I have had to get real with myself. Accept that I have been hurt, in fact, I am still hurting and what do you know, it is okay. It is not too late to receive healing. It is not too late to work through these emotions. Walking down this road of emotions can easily ruin my day, because I never quite know what I will find. I am so used to keeping up face that I almost forgot what I really look and feel like, without all the plastic ‘I am doing great’ smiles.

For years, I would gnash my teeth as I slept. If you ask anyone in my home of origin, they will tell you that Bruxism was synonymous to me. I was sometimes too embarrassed to go sleep out of the house because people would hear my not so musical tunes; worse still, they would judge me. Yet contrary to popular belief it was not something I had control over.

After I got married in 2012, it stopped after a couple of months. Oh thank God, it stopped. I finally felt safe. There were days I would wail myself to sleep, trying to sort out my emotions, but it looks like those tears cleansed me of anxiety. Now I don’t gnash my teeth anymore, I am sure my husband is so relieved.

Healing-From-the-Inside-Out

So maybe other Endo symptoms are a lot like Bruxism. You don’t have much control over them when you experience them. But, if you are willing to make a few changes in your lifestyle here and there, the severity might reduce.

Maybe we need to deal with Endometriosis from the inside out. Get healing from the inside out.

I was awaken, when I have joined EndoPositive™ International, and over there it was brought to my attention that endometriosis is a psychosomatic disease. I thought then, psycho what? I realized, we live in the world, where we will so much easier accept pills, surgeries over work on ourselves! Only when I realized, how serious it could get, if I continue to overlook my unconscious mind, I finally woke up! And I am glad I did!

Today, I continue working towards the self love, forgiveness and self awareness. Perhaps you could give it a try. You will be surprised how many things you will find out. If you feel, you are not ready, consider

I originally posted this article on EndoPositive™ International’s website in September ’15 under the title ‘What if you have been looking at Endometriosis all wrong’. My journey has been difficult, refreshing and healing all at the same time. I am still a work in progress, not where I was when I originally penned down this article. My health is at a better place.

 

Have you considered that there could be more to Endo than meets the eye? How has your journey been?

‘Big Sis’

 

I Wasn’t A Hypochondriac Afterall

I almost hugged the doctor the day he have me a diagnosis. I couldn’t pronounce ‘Endometriosis’, and I barely knew anything about it, but it was a diagnosis, and it somewhat explained the pain I’d been feeling. Also, in retrospect, I don’t think that the Doctor would have appreciated the hugs as much as I would have.

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After years of being labelled a hypochondriac and sickly child, it was so refreshing to hear someone finally give a name to the condition I’d been facing. Granted that no one likes to hear they are sick or get a diagnosis they can’t pronounce, but after years of crying in fetal position in pain, getting a diagnosis was music to my ears.

I felt validated , like someone understood me and my pain. I didn’t understand the intricate details, but I understood this:

a) someone believed me

b) the pain was not all in my head

c) we could try to manage it

I had been trying to tell the world for six years that periods this painful were not normal. I struggled with feelings of guilt and depression when getting out of bed seemed like a task too big for me.

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Invisible illness is sometimes very difficult to diagnose. It’s possible to get several misdiagnosis especially when the symptoms are similar to other illnesses.

When the doctor mentioned surgery, I was just like ‘bring it on!!!’. My fear of going under the knife was less than my fear of living in this pain. If this surgery could help, then I wanted it, I needed it stat. Prior to this, I had a surgery that I didn’t need and got an inconclusive diagnosis because the Endometriosis symptoms had manifested in my bladder.

I wasn’t a hypochondriac after all.

Have you been labelled a hypochondriac? Don’t give up on looking for a diagnosis.

‘Big Sis’

I Was Labelled A Hypochondriac

Hypochondria

“It’s all in your head!” is a phrase I heard one too many times. Looking back, I somewhat see where these people were coming from. I mean the symptoms I was experiencing were just all over the place-painful periods, severe bloating, chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, recurrent urinary tract infections, backaches, the list is quite long. I was constantly in pain. My period had turned into a monster. Rearing it’s head at every point of my cycle. It wasn’t really a cycle, the length kept changing every month. While most of my girlfriends bragged about being regular, I was as irregular as it got. Anywhere from 24-37 days. So much for being able to predict when I’d be rolling.

T_periods

I saw several doctors but they weren’t quite sure what was wrong with me. In fact I became a regular at the clinics, the doctors could almost predict what I was going to complain about. They’d heard it all. There is something about hospital waiting rooms that makes you feel sicker than you actually are.

The most deflating moment is when the doc would say “I can’t seem to find anything wrong with you.” One even went ahead to add, “I think you are imagining the pain. It’s all in your head.” In addition to the swollen belly and physical pain, I left his office, with medicine he wasn’t  sure I needed and dampened spirits. Most times I would just go home and cry. I was that girl crying in the lift, not because I had received a diagnosis, but because the professional was trying to make me believe that I had brought the pain upon myself. How I hoped I could just wish it away, or sleep and it would all be over.

 

all in your head

My journey taught me to trust my inner voice. To keep searching for an answer; a diagnosis. To never give up on myself, even though others dismissed me. Tough times show us who we really are, we find reserves of strength we knew nothing about.

Have you been labelled a hypochondriac? Have you given up looking for a diagnosis?

In part 2 I will talk about the day I got vindicated; when I finally received a diagnosis. It was the beginning of a difficult chapter, but it was far much better than not knowing what was wrong with me.

‘Big sis’

 

How I Became A Rookie Pharmacist

Up until a couple of years ago, I was a self-proclaimed, self-medicating, rookie pharmacist.

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Let me explain how it came about. A few months into my period, I started experiencing painful cramps. Every time I brought up the issue, I was told that the pain was normal. Though deep within me, I knew that pain that intense was everything but normal. In fact, I had monthly visit to the high school nurse, where I could predict the order of the day. She would quickly draw a picture of my uterus, explain that it was shedding its lining and hand me two Paracetamols as she sent me back to class.

uterus lning

The emergency room was not very helpful initially, a painful period is not on the top of the ’emergency conditions’ list. I  remember ever so vividly rushing to hospital because of painful periods but being kept waiting for over two hours because it ‘wasn’t an emergency enough’. That is until my blood pressure would spike and the doctors would wonder how I was walking with all that pain.

To avoid the inconvenience of the hospital, I would self medicate when the pain would get intense. The method was simple: I would mix up all the remaining stock that I had. One Buscopan Plus, One Ponstan , One…. you get the drift. I was self prescribing a cocktail that left me in a happy place; read: pain free, albeit for a few hours. Then I would need a repeat dosage.

My poor body. What I didn’t know then was that this cocktail could have adverse effects on my health. I was young and foolish, I didn’t bother to read the pamphlets. I thought  I was being a good steward of my time, studying for exams instead of reading pamphlets in font 2 [ I understand that they are trying to fit a lot of information on a small piece of paper, BUT, how does that font size motivate the target audience to read it?]

Also, I foolishly believed that I wouldn’t have any allergic reactions, I always prayed that I fell in the percentage that did not display any reaction to the drug. The desire to be pain free overshadowed every form of good sense in me. I was desperate, I needed relief; ever so urgently.

 

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I am now reformed. I get a proper prescription from a certified professional and religiously read the medicine pamphlets; in fact, I get very irritated when I’m sold a few tablets in an envelope without a pamphlet. I could be slowly poisoning myself for all I know. I read on the internet and make an informed decision when I take medicine and know what to look out for in terms of allergic reactions.

Are you a rookie pharmacist? Do you take time to read medicine pamphlets? Have you experienced any allergic reactions to the cocktail of meds?

‘Big Sis’

 

I Call Her Red

My little toddler found a packet of pads a few days ago. I told her they are called ‘pads’; for some reason she thought they were diapers for her toys.

I had the option of telling her a coloured lie, BUT, I am trying to make our home a truth zone. Also, the fact that I believed pads were mkate/bread, is rather bewildering. When my husband read my first post he called me laughing, wondering how now brown cow I was told they were bread; better yet, how I believed it. Oh the folly of youth. I’m yet to understand it myself.

When I got my period, I wasn’t sure what to refer to it as. Was it a ‘he’ or a ‘she’ or just an ‘it’? I rejected the nickname that was introduced to me, ‘kunyesha’ which means to rain.

exclamation points - periods

Also, I’ve always wondered why some people call it period and other periods. Does the pluralism indicate severity? Just food for thought.

When I asked my peers, I learned there was a better nickname, ‘Rolling’, you know, like the stone that gathers no moss. And so it stuck, until this rolling felt like tumbling down under. The pain was something else.

I then decided that my period was a she with the prefix ‘Red’. At some point it was so painful, all I could think of calling her was ‘Red Devil’ because the pain was outta this world. Now she is just Red. Red signifies her color, the fact that she stands..er..seeps out and finally the fact, that my vagina is a no go zone while she is in town.

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Other nicknames I have come across are:

  • Shark week
  • Aunty Flo is in town
  • Red Robot
  • TOM {Time of the month} is here

What do you call your period? Does it live up to it’s name?

You can find other interesting nicknames here and here.

‘Big Sis’

My Period Is A Part Of My Life

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After weeks of waiting and wondering how the first monthly sighting would be, my period finally came. They were not what I expected. On one hand I expected to feel different, I felt different in a gross kind of way, not a,’I am now a woman’ kind of way. On the other hand, I knew this was IT. The beginning of the end of my innocence. Remember my introduction to periods conversation? I felt as though a part of me was dying. Seeing blood supported this line of thought. I had been conditioned to believe that, seeing blood meant you should rush to a hospital immediately; yet, now I expected to sit tight and wait for it to pass.

whats a periodMy first period was weird. The theory had not prepared me for the practical. I wasn’t prepared me for the sensation, duration, color, flow or the pain. I had to acquaint myself with adhesive matters, because as women, we all know, that in matters pads, the glue matters. And wings too. You are only bothered by the quality of chicken wings, until you wear a pad without wings and have to walk around with your thighs touching each other on purpose. Then, you appreciate the genius behind pads with wings.

bravery

NOTHING prepared me for the leaks, stubborn stains got a whole new meaning. To wash with hot water or cold water? that was the question of the week. Incase, you are wondering, cold water any day.

Periods are and can be beautiful.

For the longest time, I just never thought of them like that. The truth is, I didn’t quite understand them. I thought I did, but beyond the ‘monthly shedding of my uterus wall’ I was as clueless as they come. I didn’t understand what was really happening in my body, the hormones et al, and how genetics, the food I ate, the chemicals I exposed myself to could play a part in all; after all, it was just the ‘monthly shedding of my uterus wall’. I’ll talk more about this in my next post.

What was your first period like? Did it live up to your expectations, if you had any?

‘Big Sis’